This is something to think about. It is a Saturday afternoon, and you have had a lengthy and hectic week. You worked hard all week, and now you can relax and enjoy yourself in any way you want. You start to feel more comfortable when your buddy calls you up, pumped up, and tells you about a party they’d like you to attend. Even though the plan sounds interesting, it might not be a good idea for your Saturday because you just want to stay at home and relax. You’re stumped on what to say to your buddy because you’d rather not be around people because you’ve been doing that all week, and especially not on a Saturday when you just want to be by yourself. 

You should take a moment to consider this. Have you ever pondered the factors that motivate your behaviour in this manner, and why, occasionally, you may not feel inclined to engage in social interactions with others?

Read more: What does it mean to be a Kid-at-heart?

Given its inherent nature as a human activity, I would argue that socializing should be fun, constructive, and beneficial. Humans are social creatures because we get benefits from human interaction on both a physical and mental level. This is why some of us spend a lot of time talking to people, making friends, and building strong and satisfying relationships. This is the exact reason why the world is filled with fun events that bring people together. Think about all the people who get together in the streets or at events and concerts. This is why I call humans social creatures because many of us are often found in such social settings, at least daily.  

Even though you’re more likely to meet people who enjoy hanging out outdoors, there are still some who aren’t quite sold on the whole interacting with the outside world thing. In fact, a surprising number of people are beginning to understand the concept of remaining alone and not socializing. These individuals are commonly referred to as loners or, in certain instances, as introverts. They usually like to be alone and are called “antisocial” or “reclusive” because they can challenge social and evolutionary rules in many ways. 

Our society is beginning to believe that antisocial behaviour is influenced by certain personality characteristics, such as shyness, insecurity, and self-centredness. One might think that people who like to be alone may have trouble connecting with others, which could make them seem unusual. However, just because someone doesn’t enjoy socializing with others doesn’t mean they’re weird. It is a natural phenomenon that helps distinguish certain individuals from one another. This implies that, given our diverse physical attributes, we are not all likely to behave the same way. So, what is the reason why some people don’t enjoy being around others? Here are ten reasons why you or someone you know might not like being around other people.

1. The mystery of the introvert

Many aspects of your personality are affected by your social preferences.  Today, it’s no longer a secret that anywhere from 30% to 60% of people around the world have introverted personalities. Introverts often feel overwhelmed by social situations that are too shallow and irrelevant to their interests. Furthermore, as they are not particularly interested in making friends or engaging in social activities, they require more time to themselves to recharge their batteries. In social situations, introverts prefer private conversations with a small group of people. This allows them to discuss interesting or personal topics more effectively. In other words, if you fall into this category, it may not be directly related to you, but rather a reflection of your personality.   

2. Intellectual Isolation 

It’s important to know that not everyone is a loner or introvert by choice. Their personality might reflect that of an individual possessing a high level of intelligence. People with exceptional intellect regularly feel isolated, as no one else has the same perspective on life as they do. Even though they want to be around people from different backgrounds, they often don’t get attention for their thoughts and ideas, and their interests are often not noticed.  If you meet the criteria outlined above, it is possible that your exceptional intelligence may be the reason behind your inability to establish rapport with others.  This means that your brain might not function the same way as your friends, which makes most social occasions lonely and depressing.   

3. Spending time with the wrong people

Every so frequently, the reason you don’t like being around people might not be because of your social preferences, but because of the types of people you frequently spend time with. Simply put, you might want to spend more time alone because you’re spending too much time with the wrong people who don’t help you think clearly. 

For instance, certain social circles possess the potential to establish a toxic and oppressive atmosphere, resulting in a phenomenon commonly referred to as a toxic pack mentality.  These kinds of social networks make it difficult for people to stick to their natural collective ideas, and if you stop getting along with them, they can shut you down. This is the point at which the issue of the herd mentality is brought to attention. I call it the “going with the flow mentality.” It is a mindset that embraces the opinions of others, even if they are incorrect, instead of embracing one’s own thoughts.  Many people stay in a herd mentality for a long time and can’t or won’t break free because of the influence of their peers. 

If you’ve been a victim of a toxic social gathering, it might be time to get out and look into other options. If we choose the wrong friends, it can affect how we act in social situations and make us feel disconnected from others. You might think you don’t like being around people, but in reality, you only feel uncomfortable around toxic people.

Read more: 4 common types of introverts – Which one do you identify with?

4. Social exhaustion

At present, it is possible that you may not derive pleasure from being in the company of others, owing to your present mental state.  The possible reasons could include feeling stressed and overwhelmed, tired from work or other commitments, and a need for some alone time. When we experience a mental burnout, a significant number of people would prefer to refrain from engaging in conversation or undertaking any activity. At this time, all you want is to spend some quiet time doing what you like the most. 

If this scenario resembles yours, you might be experiencing a form of social exhaustion, which could be the reason for your inability to hang out with others. In general, there is nothing to worry about because these things change. Take some time for yourself, you may feel refreshed and ready to get back out there.

5. Constant Social Anxiety 

In our current society, social anxiety is a problem that many people have to deal with every day. People with this kind of disorder are prone to feeling constantly uncomfortable or uneasy in social settings. Simply put, social anxiety is the biggest reason many people do not enjoy being around other people. Today, this condition affects anywhere from 5% to 10% of the population of the world. The condition is often characterized by fear or nervousness about everyday social experiences. 

A person who experiences social anxiety may experience the sensation of being watched every time they enter a particular location. In their mind, they might feel worried about showing their true self to others, or feel uneasy when others look at them. People with social anxiety may be discouraged from seeking new adventures because of the stress they experience from these feelings of nervousness and doubt. If you always feel uncomfortable in the presence of others, it is possible that social anxiety may have a bigger effect on your preferences than you think. 

 Read more: 5 rules you need to follow to have a successful life

6. Past traumatic experience

I’m sharing this with you based on my experience: many people exhibit antisocial tendencies because they’re influenced by negative experiences. People who have been abused in their past relationships are usually more likely to develop antisocial behaviours. They might have shared their heart with someone and put everything into it, only for them to be taken advantage of and hurt by that person in the past. Our perceptions of other social situations are often impacted by these negative experiences. Due to our previous negative experience, we believe that it is likely to occur again.  However, every connection we make with someone represents a new beginning, provided that they are willing to forget the past and move forward.   

7. The feeling that you don’t fit in

Some people avoid social interaction for personal reasons. Simply put, some people don’t like spending time with others because they find it boring. Regularly, these type of people get really bored with their usual social routines, like chatting with people who talk about nothing, even when there’s a lot to talk about. They don’t bother trying because they feel that meeting people is a waste of time. 

Contrary to what they believe, it’s actually not always the case. Building meaningful relationships with others is a good way to get to know people from different backgrounds and cultures. But if you still find it difficult to make good connections with others, it might be better not to try. You might be who you are, and it is difficult for one to change who they really are.

8. Increased sensitivity

We often experience a lot of mental and physical stimulation from most social events. When you talk, think about what you need to remember and process, even if it’s just a conversation. When engaging in a conversation with others, one is not only employing verbal and non-verbal communication, but also exhibiting a response to their surroundings, storing new information, and navigating intricate social relationships. This may be a significant amount of stimulation for individuals with high sensitivities.

People with high levels of sensitivity, or HSPs, are often more sensitive to emotional, physical, and social cues. For people like these, crowded social events like gatherings and musical performances can quickly get too much for them. 

Just a quick suggestion. In case you have a personality type called HSP (highly sensitive person), you might avoid spending time with too many people because your brain needs a break from too much information.   

9. The pressure of pleasing others

For some people, socializing with everyone can be too much work and can be exhausting. Even when they do manage to make friends, they always feel compelled to meet the needs of others, and as a result, they constantly strive to please everyone and make everyone happy, even if it means giving up the things they love. These people are known as “people pleasers.” If you study them, you will see that they have a love-hate relationship with their social lives. 

For these people, making others happy is their top priority, but they also find it overwhelming to spend time with them. If one doesn’t set healthy boundaries, interacting with others may be considered a burden instead of a blessing.   

10. Personal Insecurity

Lastly, the feeling of being insecure and its potential impact on one’s decision-making process are something I am familiar with. Many people don’t like to be around other people because they feel insecure about themselves. People in this category tend to avoid the rest of the world because they think they don’t look good or talk well. This also makes it difficult for these same people to accept invitations to large gatherings, as they’re worried about not being the center of attention.  

I understand that overcoming human insecurity can be a difficult task, but I believe that the most effective strategy for tackling it is through socialization.  Remember that when you socialize, you should do it for your own personal growth and not to impress others. Beauty and comprehension are always a matter of personal preference. Someday, you’ll eventually meet someone who’ll appreciate and respect your unique qualities and flaws.   

Sources

Cherry, K (2023), 8 Signs You Might Be an Introvert, Very Well Mind, 9th November, 2nd January, accessed 21st December 2023

Ohwoviorole, T, Reviewed by Dr David Susman, PhD, (2023), How Herd Mentality Explains Our Behaviour, Very Well mind, May 15th, accessed 20th December 2023

‘Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness‘, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Revised 2022, accessed 16th December 2023

Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Unsplash