I’m aware this is a very personal and emotional subject, so I’m going to treat this piece with the utmost respect and consideration. I ask that you take your time and think about the information I’m about to give you about divorce and remarriage from a biblical perspective. Furthermore, I would prefer not to inflict any additional distress on those who have already experienced or are currently undergoing a divorce.
I want to start by saying that getting a divorce is not a sin, and if done the right way, one will have done what God considers acceptable. I will provide an explanation to you on why divorce and re-marriage are not sins against God by using important biblical passages.
The Gospel of John provides one of the earliest instances that address the matter of divorce, when Yahusha (Jesus) displayed compassion when he encountered a Samaritan woman who had been married multiple times.
15 The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water so that I will not get thirsty nor [have to continually] come all the way here to draw.” 16 At this, Jesus said, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17 The woman answered, “I do not have a husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I do not have a husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the man you are now living with is not your husband. You have said this truthfully.”
John 4:16-18
One lesson we can derive from this passage is that despite the errors committed by the woman in her marriage, our Messiah did not hold her accountable for her actions. This passage also teaches us that, even though she was living with someone who wasn’t her husband, he didn’t judge her, as we would today. Due to her honesty, Yahusha (Jesus) acknowledged her predicament. He reminded her, however, that the person she should be living with should be her husband rather than any man. This brings us to the subject of divorce and re-marriage.
Divorce has a devastating impact on couples, especially after it happens. Several things can happen when faced with a divorce, such as a decrease in happiness, a change in economic status, and emotional problems.
Personally, I would like to make it abundantly clear that I am not in favour of a divorce. I believe that couples must make every effort to sacrifice their ego to ensure the success of their marriage. This is the reason why it’s crucial to ask for guidance before settling on a partner, as it’s becoming increasingly easy to pick the wrong one. Doing this will help us avoid making mistakes in our marriage that could lead to a divorce.
For couples experiencing difficulties in their marriage, it is strongly recommended that you seek professional help or spiritual counselling in the form of prayers to achieve reconciliation.
Read More: Revealed: Sunday is not the real Sabbath day and we must stop celebrating it
Moving forward, we can learn from the Bible that God doesn’t like couples who break up. This is shown in a passage in Malachi.
16 “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong and violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore, keep watch on your spirit so that you do not deal treacherously [with your wife].”
Malachi 2:16
God wants us to understand that it would be better if man and woman, who make up the foundation of his creation, didn’t have to deal with any issues related to divorcing, which is why we were warned to be on guard and watchful.
Many couples don’t realize that when they file for separation, the divine plan God had for them to become one is wiped out immediately. It is for this reason that Yahusha (Jesus) made this bold declaration in the book of Matthew:
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and 5 said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6
As children of the Most High God, we have a moral duty to look into the Bible to find out what the Bible really says about divorce and remarriage. Despite the possibility of generations passing, the word of God will remain constant as it serves as a moral and spiritual guide that was crafted by God to aid us during times like this. It is therefore important to seek help from it.
The very first verse in the Bible to address the issue of divorce was found in the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, where God specifically gave a slew of instructions to the people of Israel.
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable according to the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4
From this passage, we can learn that the purpose of a divorce certificate was not only to end the union between a man and a woman, but also to allow a woman to marry another man.
Another important lesson is that, when the husband decides that he doesn’t love his wife any more because of her infidelity, he is the only one who must start the divorce process by giving his wife a divorce certificate. Therefore, it is not the duty of a woman to initiate a divorce, and by doing so, it amounts to an act of adultery, as revealed in the Gospel of Mark.
12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Mark 10:12
In addition, Deuteronomy 24 provides us with a practical instruction on how to marry a woman who has just been divorced.
If you pay close attention to this passage, you will find that it is not a sin for a woman who has been divorced to remarry. What constitutes a sin is when her second marriage also ends in divorce, she cannot go back and remarry her first husband.
The issue of divorce has been a hotly contested one for ages, and numerous scholars have offered their perspectives. Before Yahusha (Jesus) existed, there was a disagreement between the schools of Hillel and Shammai about whether a man could divorce his wife for any reason.
“In the Mishnaic period, the theory of the law that the husband could divorce his wife at will was challenged by the school of Shammai. It interpreted the text of Deuteronomy 24:1 in such a manner as to reach the conclusion that the husband could not divorce his wife except for cause, and that the cause must be sexual immorality. The school of Hillel, however, held that the husband need not assign any reason whatever that any act on her part which displeased him entitled him to give her a bill of divorce. The opinion of the school of Hillel prevailed.”
Entry for divorce. 1901 Jewish Encyclopedia (link here)
Several generations later, Yahusha (Jesus) was questioned regarding this same subject by the Pharisees, who were seeking to ascertain His position on the matter of divorce. Some Pharisees agreed with the school of Hillel, which said that a man could divorce his wife for any reason. They wanted to know if Yahusha (Jesus) shared their views on divorce. But they were surprised to learn that Yahusha (Jesus) had a different opinion.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:3-9
This passage shows that Yahusha (Jesus) didn’t agree with their view, but rather stated that if a man wants to divorce his wife, it needs to be due to her sexual immorality. He emphasized the importance of a lifelong marriage instead of divorce, which was different from what they expected.
Yahusha (Jesus) also revealed that God didn’t intend for men and women to separate, and that from the very beginning, God intended for men and women to merge into one, which translates to staying together for a longer period of time.
Still not happy with this explanation, the Pharisees asked why the ancient Torah, which Moses had given down, would allow a divorce. In response, Yahusha clarified that divorce was only permissible or would flourish in their generation, compared to Moses because of the “hardness of their hearts.”
The Pharisees were known for being hypocritical, so this statement could be considered a criticism of their constant attempts to justify getting a divorce, which was common among them. Nevertheless, Yahusha appeared to agree with Shammai teachings, stating that “whoever divorces his spouse, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
This statement bears a striking resemblance to the teachings he taught in the Sermon on the Mount, as revealed in the Gospel of Matthew.
Divorce
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31-32
Contrary to the beliefs held by the Pharisees, Yahusha argued that the only reason for a man to divorce his spouse is if she has engaged in sexually immoral activities.
Today, it is well known that men don’t always divorce their wives because of sexual immorality alone. There are many reasons for divorce, including infidelity, conflict, financial stress, or a lack of respect towards each other. If we take Yahusha’s statement that sexual immorality is the only way a man should divorce his wife, we must come up with a clear definition of sexual immorality.
The online dictionary Vocabulary defines sexual immorality as the following:
Definitions of sexual immorality. The evil ascribed to sexual acts that violate social conventions. Type of evil, immorality, iniquity, wickedness. Morally objectionable behaviour.
“Sexual immorality.” Vocabulary.com Dictionary
When discussing the concept of sexual immorality, it can manifest in numerous forms. Sexual immorality may manifest itself in the form of lust, adultery, or even the inference of certain conduct that is contrary to the accepted moral code within a marriage.
When Moses told the Israelites that a man could divorce his wife only if she were unclean, I believe that the term “unclean” when used as a metaphor could also refer to issues related to sexual immorality, as taught by Yahusha.
Read More: Explained: Paying tithes to pastors is a scam and not Biblical
From all of this, we can learn that Yahusha was opposed to the practice of divorce. However, he helped us understand the consequences of divorce on peoples lives. One consequence that he emphasized was that a woman can be deemed an adulteress upon divorce, unless the reason for the divorce was based on her immorality.
Over the course of time, this statement has been interpreted in various ways. Likewise, It is possible that the modern Bible, which is commonly used today, may have misinterpreted that particular verse. The Bible we use today was written and translated in Koine Greek, whereas ancient scripture was written in old Hebrew and Aramaic language. This may have been where the translation went wrong. However, if we are to rely on the terms employed by Yahusha, a multitude of theories emerge.
One theory suggests that Yahusha was merely implying that if a man fails to divorce his spouse for any reason apart from adultery, her reputation may suffer. She may be seen by many people as an adulteress.
Alternatively, another theory proposes that Yahusha might be saying that if a husband divorces his wife without a good reason, it makes her look like an adulterous person. And that a man can only divorce his wife if she has already shown signs of being an adulteress.
To make my point more understandable, divorced women in the biblical era had fewer options of survival. This is because, if you dig into the Bible more deeply, you’ll see that men and women weren’t treated equally.
The book of Numbers provides an illustration of this, wherein God instructed Moses to prioritize the sons of Israel and not the women, irrespective of their age, and to compile a list of their names during the census count.
40 The Lord said to Moses, “Count all the firstborn Israelite males who are a month old or more and make a list of their names.
Numbers 3:40
During that time, women were dependent on their husbands or parents, which prevented them from being independent. A woman was required to be married to support herself and her family. If her husband divorced from her, she would have to choose between going back to her parents, marrying again, or resorting to prostitution to make ends meet. This may have been the norm during the time of the Old Testament.
Regardless of how Yahusha’s words might have been interpreted, it’s clear that God’s intention was for a committed union between husband and wife, and not a separation.
My Take
Based on the biblical passage and the topic of divorce and remarriage, what is my perspective on this matter?
- The Bible instructs us to refrain from divorce, as it is contrary to God’s intended course for us. It is advisable for a man to collaborate harmoniously with his wife to ensure the successful functioning of their marriage, rather than seeking divorce.
2. If a marriage fails to coexist because of the evidence that the woman committed a sexual immoral act like adultery, then a divorce can be initiated. The man must begin the divorce process by providing his wife with a divorce certificate so that she can move forward with her life. If, on the other hand, she hasn’t received an official confirmation of divorce from her husband and has instead embarked on a romantic relationship with another man, then the biblical guidance on divorce isn’t being followed, making it a sin against God.
3. If a woman’s husband is alive and the marriage is living harmoniously, she is tied to him until death does them apart. Any sexual relationship with someone outside their marriage will be considered adultery. I believe this to be the legality of marriage that is being practiced today and does not require further explanation.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Makewetalknow 